Exclusive selectivity in business and life...

When I was a teenager, my dad told me something that stuck with me, “Dime con quien vas, y te dire quien eres” (Tell me who you’re hanging out with and I’ll tell you who you are). At the time it seemed harsh to hear – thinking I could do no wrong at the ripe old age of 15 but my father’s wisdom has proven to carry forth into my adult years.

You’ve probably heard this before, and if you haven’t you should listen up: You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

Who you decide to share your time and energy with the most is not only a direct reflection of you (or rather, what’s going on within you) but is also a determinant to your own success.

That’s why it’s so important to choose those people wisely – especially when you’re setting out to achieve a huge goal like starting your business.

Exclusive selectivity is a must for you – just like you’re selective about the outfit you wore this morning, what you had for breakfast, the types of restaurants and shops you frequent – you’ve got to de deliberate and selectively choose the people who you rub elbows with socially and professionally.

Like attracts like, always. And everyone on your immediate reality is a direct reflection of you. Negative, envious people will always gravitate towards each other. So will fake and superficial people, visionaries, Debbie-downers, and angry people. Get it?

We’re energetic beings – and our “vibes” and attitudes rub off on those around us and vice versa. Surround yourself with people of like energy and attitude, high aspirations and big thinkers, go-getters, givers, doers. Share of yourself with those that are walking a similar path or have already risen to the next level. Find and gravitate to those people who share and support your visions and goals; those people who will hold you up when you slip down a level.

You’ve heard the expression “monkey see, monkey do?” There’s these nifty little systems in our brains that are called: “Mirror Neurons”. Via these neurons we emulate and process others’ actions and feelings. They allow us to automatically simulate the actions we observe in other in our own brains. (To learn more about mirror neurons, go to this NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/10/science/10mirr.html)

Mary Kay Ash (top female entrepreneur in American History!) said something that has stuck with me, I apply it to all areas of my life and your life will change when you also begin applying it: Don’t take advice from someone you’re not willing to trade places with.

So the next time someone knocks you for your desires and goals, or the next time someone criticizes your business or idea – ask yourself: Am I willing to trade places with this person? Are they what I aspire to be, do or have?

If the answer is no – then dammit, move on and do not give that person’s words or action a second thought. If the answer is yes then consider it constructive feedback and welcome the experience as a stepping stone to do better.


Action, action, action:

This week:

1- Take inventory of the people you’ve been spending most time with. Who are they? How do they choose to show up in the world? What are their personal, professional and financial circumstances? What effect do they have on your energy space when you’re with them? (ie – do they leave you feeling drained or down?) Are you willing to trade places with them?

2- Make a list of the top five people you’d like to begin spending most of your time with. Who are your friends, contacts and acquaintances that can propel your vision forward? Who’s doing it or has done it already? Who’s 10, 20 50 steps ahead of you? Who’s making things happen? Who’s energy and attitude would you like to emulate?

3- Make it happen. What steps can you take to get it done TODAY? Make a call? Send an email or Facebook message? Do it.