When I was a teenager, my dad told me something that stuck with me, “Dime con quien vas, y te dire quien eres” (Tell me who you’re hanging out with and I’ll tell you who you are). At the time it seemed harsh to hear – thinking I could do no wrong at the ripe old age of 15 but my father’s wisdom has proven to carry forth into my adult years.
You’ve probably heard this before, and if you haven’t you should listen up: You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.
Who you decide to share your time and energy with the most is not only a direct reflection of you (or rather, what’s going on within you) but is also a determinant to your own success.
That’s why it’s so important to choose those people wisely – especially when you’re setting out to achieve a huge goal like starting your business.
Exclusive selectivity is a must for you – just like you’re selective about the outfit you wore this morning, what you had for breakfast, the types of restaurants and shops you frequent – you’ve got to de deliberate and selectively choose the people who you rub elbows with socially and professionally.
Like attracts like, always. And everyone on your immediate reality is a direct reflection of you. Negative, envious people will always gravitate towards each other. So will fake and superficial people, visionaries, Debbie-downers, and angry people. Get it?
We’re energetic beings – and our “vibes” and attitudes rub off on those around us and vice versa. Surround yourself with people of like energy and attitude, high aspirations and big thinkers, go-getters, givers, doers. Share of yourself with those that are walking a similar path or have already risen to the next level. Find and gravitate to those people who share and support your visions and goals; those people who will hold you up when you slip down a level.
You’ve heard the expression “monkey see, monkey do?” There’s these nifty little systems in our brains that are called: “Mirror Neurons”. Via these neurons we emulate and process others’ actions and feelings. They allow us to automatically simulate the actions we observe in other in our own brains. (To learn more about mirror neurons, go to this NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/10/science/10mirr.html)
Mary Kay Ash (top female entrepreneur in American History!) said something that has stuck with me, I apply it to all areas of my life and your life will change when you also begin applying it: Don’t take advice from someone you’re not willing to trade places with.
So the next time someone knocks you for your desires and goals, or the next time someone criticizes your business or idea – ask yourself: Am I willing to trade places with this person? Are they what I aspire to be, do or have?
If the answer is no – then dammit, move on and do not give that person’s words or action a second thought. If the answer is yes then consider it constructive feedback and welcome the experience as a stepping stone to do better.
Action, action, action:
This week:
1- Take inventory of the people you’ve been spending most time with. Who are they? How do they choose to show up in the world? What are their personal, professional and financial circumstances? What effect do they have on your energy space when you’re with them? (ie – do they leave you feeling drained or down?) Are you willing to trade places with them?
2- Make a list of the top five people you’d like to begin spending most of your time with. Who are your friends, contacts and acquaintances that can propel your vision forward? Who’s doing it or has done it already? Who’s 10, 20 50 steps ahead of you? Who’s making things happen? Who’s energy and attitude would you like to emulate?
3- Make it happen. What steps can you take to get it done TODAY? Make a call? Send an email or Facebook message? Do it.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Dealing with critics and haters in business...
“The levers are here. The proof is here. The power is here. The only thing holding you back is your own fear. Not easy to admit, but essential to understand.” –Seth Godin, Tribes
You’ve been flirting with the idea of going solo and starting your own business for a while. The more you think about it, the more excited you get. You can see it in your mind – what a beautiful vision. You start getting worked up and gung-ho about it… Till either IT strikes, or the fear of IT striking strikes: What if you put yourself out there, bare your soul, passion and heart to the world… and they hate it.
Our fear and almost phobia-like dread of criticism and judgment is what really paralyzes us. It’s just as bad as being stripped naked in front of a bunch of people. Complete horror. We are so committed to looking good, being liked and accepted that it shapes who we are – or at least the face we show the world. Like a little puppy begging for attention, inside we are silently shouting the same: “Like me! Like me! Like me! (because if you don’t I am worth jack shit)”. Authenticity goes right out the window.
Truth: there will always be people who aren’t going to like you or your work. But should that stop you from freeing your voice, passion and vision? Should it keep you small and silent in the shadows of the masses for fear of being singled out? Will that make for a fulfilling and elevated life?
Guess what? Your real power is totally independent from what others think of you and whether or not they like you. Just as it’s inevitable that those people will criticize you and/or your work, it’s just as inevitable that you’re going to find fans – those who are so aligned with your vision they naturally gravitate towards you. They then share your message with other soon-to-be fans and voila – you’ve gone viral.
But, you’ll never give yourself a chance to see that bloom if you stay small. When you find your passion, your WHY, your unique voice – you also find your strength. That’s what badasses are – they are so in love with their vision, the mark they’re leaving in their worlds and the ripple effect to those who can benefit from their work that they are willing to deal with a few critics. They boldly face this so-called opposition head on, because they know that it will only make them STRONGER.
That’s the thing about critics – if you’re brave enough to be you and encounter them as you walk along you will find they are your greatest teachers. They leverage your game. They sharpen your soul and mind. They perfect your mission and vision. (And pssssst – if they’re talking about you, you can feel flattered that they find you worthy of mentioning!)
You’ve been flirting with the idea of going solo and starting your own business for a while. The more you think about it, the more excited you get. You can see it in your mind – what a beautiful vision. You start getting worked up and gung-ho about it… Till either IT strikes, or the fear of IT striking strikes: What if you put yourself out there, bare your soul, passion and heart to the world… and they hate it.
Our fear and almost phobia-like dread of criticism and judgment is what really paralyzes us. It’s just as bad as being stripped naked in front of a bunch of people. Complete horror. We are so committed to looking good, being liked and accepted that it shapes who we are – or at least the face we show the world. Like a little puppy begging for attention, inside we are silently shouting the same: “Like me! Like me! Like me! (because if you don’t I am worth jack shit)”. Authenticity goes right out the window.
Truth: there will always be people who aren’t going to like you or your work. But should that stop you from freeing your voice, passion and vision? Should it keep you small and silent in the shadows of the masses for fear of being singled out? Will that make for a fulfilling and elevated life?
Guess what? Your real power is totally independent from what others think of you and whether or not they like you. Just as it’s inevitable that those people will criticize you and/or your work, it’s just as inevitable that you’re going to find fans – those who are so aligned with your vision they naturally gravitate towards you. They then share your message with other soon-to-be fans and voila – you’ve gone viral.
But, you’ll never give yourself a chance to see that bloom if you stay small. When you find your passion, your WHY, your unique voice – you also find your strength. That’s what badasses are – they are so in love with their vision, the mark they’re leaving in their worlds and the ripple effect to those who can benefit from their work that they are willing to deal with a few critics. They boldly face this so-called opposition head on, because they know that it will only make them STRONGER.
That’s the thing about critics – if you’re brave enough to be you and encounter them as you walk along you will find they are your greatest teachers. They leverage your game. They sharpen your soul and mind. They perfect your mission and vision. (And pssssst – if they’re talking about you, you can feel flattered that they find you worthy of mentioning!)
So this week:
• Find your unique voice – that mission and vision about your business.
• Communicate that message with passion.
• Silently thank and bless your “haters” and use them to make you better.
• Do not give up – even when you’re in tears.
Help me spread my vision of fearlessly fabulous women starting and growing successful and passion-filled solo-business all over the freakin’ globe!
If you dig this, share this email with those women who will benefit.
Comment below, subscribe and share your thoughts! I’d love to hear from you, seriously. :)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Big AUDACIOUS 2011!!!
<-- CLICK
ME
New year... again. As we take 2011 by the horns, I want to invite you to throw away your usual NY Resolutions and "Goals"... If you want this year to be different, you'll have to think differently, act differently, perceive differently and CHOOSE differently.
In a previous email I gave you an exercise to try out - to get CLEAR about what you want YOUR year to be. Don't forget your intentions are powerful - much more so than your willpower.
Create a VISION. Get CLEAR. INTEND to make it happen despite your excuses and usual MO. Stay FOCUSED. We're halfway through the first week of the year - only 51.5 more weeks left - what are you going to do with them?
I came across an article that really tugged at my heartstrings, every word is true so soak it up and ask yourself: "What's going to be different this year? What will be the catalyst for you to start making headway in your life and career/business?
Read on...
ARTICLE BY JOSHUA SCOTT-ONYSKO, "THE SECRET LIFE OF INHIBITIONS":
As an entrepreneur, I'm often asked "How did you get started?"
A lot.
The truth is, I have no idea.
When I think of an idea, I rarely think about its feasibility. Rather, I think about desire and process. Thinking about failure defeats us. So I think about success instead. I'm referring to success on a wider sense--not If I do this, and get it right I will be rewarded with this other thing that we believe will complete us and make us happy--but success in terms of allowing ourselves to let go of the inhibitions that truly have no place in our lives. I think about letting go of unnecessary inhibitions--inhibitions derived from thoughts, thoughts derived from memories. And oftentimes these memories can fit in two categories: manifested and un-manifested.
When we look back at our memories and consider our choices, do we see ourselves having acted from a desire to become complete? Or do we see ourselves having acted from a realization that we already have all we need--that we need nothing but choose to engage in a process that directly impacts the world in a positive way? And a tertiary question: how does this conversation make you feel? You know, the one happening in your head? Light? Heavy? Indifferent? Pick two and rely on neither--the answer is always mislead by thought.
So. How do we start something?
We first identify our inhibitions and dismiss them.
We then ask if what we want to start is something that impacts the world in a positive way. If the answer is yes, all that's left for us is to go kick some ass.
Click here for article.
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