I came across a note by life coach Rhonda Britten yesterday and it spoke right to me.(See below)
Often we let our minds wander and we allow ourselves to get paralyzed by fear. This fear takes on many faces: fear of failure, fear of success, fear of making a fool of oneself, fear of not being good enough as a business owner, fear of being judged, fear of being in the spotlight, fear of being criticized, fear of moving forward, fear of the unknown... the list goes on.

You've probably heard this before, but I know I need to remind myself of this every now and again:

FEAR = False Experiences Appearing Real.

Fear resides in a tiny area of the brain called the Amygdala... and its job is to alert us when we perceive fear to be present. When we experience fear, biochemical processes start up in our bodies, chemicals are secreted in our brains and then travel down to our blood stream and elsewhere... I am sharing this with you so you're aware that fear is nothing more than a chemical reaction, yet when it overtakes us, we believe that fear to be 100% true. Not so.

Just as I mentioned in my latest blog post,we've got to get in the habit of challenging, questioning and probing our fears... talk back to them. Only when we disect our fears do we find that more often than not, there's really no substance there... it's not the thing in question we fear, but the PROJECTED outcome that we dread. We're fearing what hasn't yet happened! What a waste of our precious life force energy. I challenge all of you saavy business owners to start probing your fears today - right now... and see what happens.

Another point I'd like to make is that fear can be your friend and ally... Whether it's starting a business, growing a business, expanding, or taking a leap of faith, your goal should be BIG enough to stretch you and change you. A worthy goal is one that seems daunting and scary... thus, when you begin to feel that nagging fear as you pursue your passions and desires remember that the very fact you have that fear means you're on target with your goal... yes, FEAR CAN BE GOOD! We just have to get very, very good at controlling those feelings and not letting them overpower us.

The next time you're giving in to fear, stop for a moment and answer yourself this:

1. What am I feeling?

2. What am I projecting into this situation?

3. What am I scaring myself about?

4. Is this fear founded? Am I missing some chunk of the puzzle?

5. What's the best outcome that can happen?

"Being willing to feel your feelings and face your fears are two of the risks you must be willing to take to gain confidence. In order to gain confidence you must be willing to feel every feeling and take actions regardless of those same feelings. But confidence doesn't come first. Risk does. Therefore, the only way you will build confidence is to do the thing you fear."

Rhonda Britten

Coming out of the abyss...

Hello, hello! It's been quite a while since I last wrote on here. And honestly it's been an interesting and rollercoaster couple of months...

I've been undergoing lots of changes both personally and otherwise. Which is why I feel compelled to discuss the topic of coming out of the "abyss" within us, speaking from my own personal journey...

Have you ever felt out of control or out of sorts? One incident sparks the domino effect in literally every area of your life and pretty soon you feel lost? I've been experiencing a plethora of emotions these past couple of months and I've been quite frankly knocked on my ass. I've ranged the scale of emotions over and over: fear, worry, sadness, hopelessness, anger, excitement, anxiety, happiness, overwhelment, hopefulness, courage... I found myself at a crossroad: 1) I could let my energy completely flail, curl up in a ball of victim-mentality and tunnel vision and just keep feeling sorry for my situation... or 2) I could reach out to my support circle of amazing friends, coaches, and family to lift me up out of the tunnel. I could apply what I've learned in my training as a coach and come out of this situation with lessons, gifts, and newfound strength. Simply put, the option was to LOOK FORWARD and close the book of the past.

I obviously choose option #2. It's a choice I need to remind myself of each day... even when everything in my current reality displays the opposite. I am a huge believer in choosing to go downstream instead of banging your head against resistance, but sometimes no matter how much knowledge you have, how much training, or how many books and courses you've undergone you just can't shake those negative vibes as easily... and after a while this lower state of vibration becomes a bit chronic... making it even harder for you to connect with that Higher part of you where your intuition and answers reside. When we're in this slump we are giving in to the illusion that we're not powerful creators... and we begin to feel separate and weak... I should know, in a two month span I've come down with FOUR colds/viruses...

But I've grown tired and sick of not feel myself, personally and professionally... And I realized I was only focusing on:

- what's not working in my life/business.
- why it's "so hard" to create my desires.
- all the reasons why I should feel bad for myself because of my current situation.
- how I don't want to feel.
- what I don't have.

My hope is that this blog post will resound with those who needs these words as much as I do now... we're all intricate beings and one can never be too sure of what's brewing underneath the surface for the next person.

The point is that it IS easier to sink deeper and just give up. We are creatures that crave instant gratification... and if your energy isn't aligned, your goal/vision/desire becomes tiny and fragile... you begin to doubt it ever coming to life.

" Building this business is too hard... I don't know how I can ever do it"

" I can't find paying clients on a regular basis"

" This is a hard industry to make it in"

" I don't have what it takes"

" I can't lose weight, it's too hard"

" I'll never get out of debt"

" I'll be stuck in this rut forever"

" I'll never find someone who truly loves me"

You begin to doubt yourself and where you're headed... that's when you've got to SHAKE IT OFF.

Our perceptions of our lives are a reflection of what's going on inside of us - our chronic thoughts, beliefs, and self talk. How have you been communicating with yourself? What's been the story you've been repeating and reaffirming to yourself?

The first step out of the abyss is to simply realize where your energy has been.

Only then can you make a conscious and committed choice to DECIDE to think/feel/act differently. And no - this is not some instantaneous shift... it's WORK... every segment of your day, be DELIBERATE about what you choose to think and how you choose to feel... get in the habit of QUESTIONING and TALKING BACK to your negative thoughts...

For example, if you've hit a wall or dry spell with your fledgling business, instead of giving in to those gloomy thoughts automatically, start to question and challenge them - LOOK FOR THE EVIDENCE that things can also be otherwise:

" There are many other people in my field that have made it and are making it"

" If they are finding ideal clients, there are more out there for me"

" I am just as capable and qualified as them" (look at the similarities between you, take stock of your strengths)

Be INTENTIONAL with what you want your reality to be... only you have the power to change it... regardless of your outside circumstances.

The next step is to forgive yourself for however you've dealt with the situation.

Forgive yourself for all those non-serving thoughts, feelings and beliefs... and go easy on yourself... as my life coach says "Be nice to you..."

Either way, it's all in the past and there's no changing it... do you want to focus on tomorrow or expend your energy crying about that which is gone and cannot be changed?

Now you're ready to move forward... so DON'T LOOK BACK! Make the promise to yourself TODAY, that:

1) You will ask the Universe or whatever you consider Higher Power for inspiration and relief.

Make this a constant request, and expect this demand to be answered - and then look for any little, seemingly insignificant sign of this manifesting... even if momentary relief is laughing at a stupid joke, or smiling back at a baby, or getting a good lick from your pooch... learn to look for the small things that come at you daily. The more you stop to notice these little blessings, the more you will start noticing the bigger ones that come to you.

2) You DECIDE how you're going to perceive whatever is in turmoil... how do you want to feel? What thoughts do you choose to entertain from here on?

The majority of us can at least determine HOW we'd like to feel and HOW we'd like things to turn out... make it a habit to switch your thoughts forms to that... to WHAT YOU WANT.

3) Buckle down and go KICK ASS!

ASK YOURSELF: How would the ideal "me" act? If I were invincible, all powerful and 100% capable of getting what I want... how would I talk/walk/ feel/ think?

NOW GO DO IT.